Thursday, May 27, 2010

livin on a prayer

it's soccer insanity! tournaments, tryouts, and more sports drinks than you can shake a stick at. (wtf does "shake a stick at mean anyway? and it ends with a preposition. is that still bad grammar?)

jake's team is playing in a mini-tournament to decide the placing in their division. they won their first game 9-0. jake scored three goals. they advanced to the next round, and tonight they beat the first place team in the division 6-4. the game was freaking awesome. at the end of the game, jake organized a dousing of their coach with water. it was the equivalent of the gatorade being dumped on the coach at the superbowl. it was hilarious - the coach never saw it coming. those boys love him.

i gave one of my son's team mates a ride home, because his parents had a family commitment. when we got into the car, i said to jake, "ooooooo weeee. you guys do NOT smell good!" he said, "ya smell that mom??? THAT IS THE SMELL of winners." what could i really say in answer to that?

on the way home, we rocked out to some butt rock on KLZX. life is pretty good when you, your 11-year-old son and his friend can sing "livin on a prayer" by bon jovi at the top of your lungs in the car.

jenna is guest playing in a tournament in layton this weekend, so we're gonna smash in a real salt lake game while we're at it. :)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

playin with the queen of hearts

this is a real, live conversation. names have not been changed. no one was hurt in the writing of this post. even though they probably should have been.

jenna: mom, what should i be for halloween this year?

we have the halloween costume conversation at least once a month. year round. also a regular topic? what is wanted for the next birthday. even when the birthday was last week. never hurts to have ideas for next year, right? just in case i have no idea what to get. because no one gave me any ideas ALL YEAR LONG.

me: it's a bit early to be thinking about halloween, don't ya think?

this is coming from a girl who is convinced she is going to get her entire department to dress up as the cast of the jersey shore for halloween. yes, i'm already plotting how to make it happen. two of the guys will have to dress up as girls, but trust me, it will be worth it. and i need one girl to be a guido. she has short hair, she'll be able to pull off the gelled, crispy, blow-dried look easily. 

jake: mom, it's never too early.

clearly. now remind me again...what is it you wanted for your birthday? was it a mini laptop, an ipod, or a tv for your room? oh yeah...a computer desk, a snowboard, an american girl doll and dc's. and for me? a second mortgage!!! wheeeeeeeee!!!!

jenna: i'm thinking alice in wonderland.

me: you think i should be alice??

jake: no! you are the queen of hearts!!

me: *horrified face*

jenna: jake!! are you saying that because mom is fat??

what the hell is going on here?!?!??!!?

jake: no, i'm saying it because she is mean!

seriously!! WHAT THE HELL??? 

me: you guys are lame-o's!!!

then i stomped off like an immature teenager. when i told the guys at work about it, IT GOT WORSE. they told me that the queen of hearts HAS A REALLY HUGE HEAD. thanks, guys. NOT.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

and i love her

when i tell people that i have a housekeeper, it's not uncommon for them to say the following things:

are you freaking kidding me? 

no way!!!! how much do you pay her?

serious??? my husband would NEVER let me do that!!

i hate you. 

are you judging me yet? most of you already know i have a housekeeper, but in the off chance that some stranger stops by here, i want them to know that I HAVE A HOUSEKEEPER. and? it is THE BEST THING EVER. i want to make one thing clear: for the most part, i don't mind doing housework. i enjoy having a clean house. i do hate laundry. but i think everyone does, right?

the kicker? i work about 50-60 hours a week at a job that most people wouldn't be able to handle. i know this because i am pretty sure i got the job only because no one else wanted it. ha HA! but seriously. it's stressful. i love it and i'm grateful for it every single day, but it takes up a significant amount of my time. cleaning my own house would just be ONE MORE THING i have to do. i still cook dinner regularly. cooking is love.

i work because i can't imagine NOT working. i never ever expected to be a stay at home mom. i love SAHM's and sometimes i envy them. they probably envy me. i work for a few reasons: i enjoy it; i need to make my own way (i cannot be dependent on a man. it's not in my nature), and i like shopping. oh, and that pesky mortgage.

back to the housekeeper. have i mentioned that i love her?

i literally have nightmares that she will quit. that someday, i will have to dust my own shelves. mop my own floors. scrub my own toilets. and FINISH MY OWN LAUNDRY. oh! the horror!!!!!!! i told her she had to give me six months notice if she ever quits. she laughed. i was like, no, i'm serious. this isn't a a joke.

for those of you who do not work outside of the home, i can see that it might be very hard to justify having a housekeeper. but for those of you who do, you are nuts if you don't find a way to fit this into your budget. it costs me less than $200 a month to have my house cleaned once a week. i come home every tuesday to a house that smells like cleanliness and pine sol. she catches me up on laundry if i'm behind. (i say "if" like it doesn't happen very often. HA HA HAAAAAAA.) it is the best feeling in the whole world to come home to a clean house.

having a housekeeper makes me a better mom. a better wife. a better person. i don't resent my husband for not helping around the house. i don't hate my kids for wrecking the house after i spent 5 hours scrubbing, mopping and dusting. i don't mind doing the other things that make my household tick. i have time on the weekends to enjoy my family, instead of spending the time cleaning. i can enjoy my kids' activities without having to worry about doing household chores when i get home.

my kids still have chores. they still have to clean their own rooms. the housekeeper only vacuums their rooms. they still have to put clothes away, hang up their towels, empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, etc. they still have to help.

i'm not totally lazy. that's my story and i'm sticking to it, anyway.

best. thing. ever.

now. i'm off to find a stash of chocolate. or wine. or both?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

5 hot news dudes

i have always been a news junkie. that's probably why i have a degree in journalism.

today i'm sharing with you my...

top 5 hot news dudes

5. shepard smith
4. mark koelbel
3. keith olbermann
2. brian williams
1. anderson cooper

now these guys are not in my celebrity pass list. please tell me you know what the celebrity pass is. that will be a later blog post...

who are your fave news anchors? there are some hot ladies out there broadcasting, too. you have someone you love?