Wednesday, August 11, 2010

roam if you want toooooo....roam around the world

here it is! part two! it's what you've been waiting for - did i sleep at all that first night? what else happened on the great camping expedition of 2010?

so camp was set up. we had the stuff for s'mores. i thought it would be fun to go check out a yellowstone thermo feature before we came back to build a fire. i didn't know i would almost be killed by an elk while on this little jaunt near the lake. but hey. no one really knows when they'll be looking death right in the face. and who knew that death looks like a cow elk?

paul and i headed over to west thumb geyser basin, a lovely little hot pot of activity on the shore of yellowstone lake. did you know the lake is so cold that no one really swims in it? and it's at about 8000 feet above sea level, too. don't you just love little facts? i do. i'm always googling or wikipedia'ing something. (also a word. you can find it next to swassy. in an unalphabetical dictionary. unalphabetical is also a word, and is also in that dictionary.)

oops. got off track. so we're nearing the end of our lovely evening walk around the boardwalk and we've seen some stanky boiling mud pots, and some gorgeous hot springs. and by gorgeous, i mean absolutely amazing. there is nothing like these hot springs anywhere else. and we come across a cow elk, grazing on some grass RIGHT NEXT TO THE BOARDWALK. sooo coool, right? paul even walks right up next to her and makes me take a pic (posted on facebook soon, i promise...). he's a total idiot, because to his immediate left, THERE IS A LITTLE BABY ELK. it still has its spots, so it's really just a little guy. now there is a section of boardwalk that has railings (because you know elk can't jump, right? why did i think (and still think...) that those railings were safer than the section of boardwalk without railings? i don't want to walk through the mom and the baby. but paul keeps telling me i'll be fine. so, in a moment of complete idiocy, i decide, fine, i'll do it. so i walk through and the freaking cow charges my ass.

do you think i'm joking? I AM NOT. i think i peed just a little bit in my pants. for the rest of the trip, i was convinced i was going to get trampled by an elk, eaten by a bear, and/or gored by a bison. and? i bitched about it. a lot.

so we go back to camp, and make our delicious s'mores. sooo good. roasting marshmallows is one of the best things on earth. i decide i'm going to take a sleeping pill before i climb into my sleeping bag. unfortunately, i drank a bit too much wine, so at 12:30 a.m., i had to pee. i totally wake up paul to make him take me to the bathroom, because i'm convinced that mr. grizzly bear is right outside our tent, ready to eat the people in the camp next door BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS COOKING.

i freeze my ass off on the way to the potty...and then i come back to the tent. the wind kicks up, it sprinkles a bit, and the trees make sooo much noise. i swear i kept hearing bear noises (whatever those are) outside our tent. paul is super patient... he tells me everything is fine, he strokes my hair, and he never gets mad. meanwhile, I AM INSANE. totally INSANE. i'm convinced i'm going to be ripped out of the tent by my head. and partially eaten, which is way worse than being wholly eaten, right? i think i slept about 3 hours that night. maybe less. whatever. it sucked, but i didn't die.

more later? we'll seee.....


annikab said...

you better add to this! I am laughing my ass off!! I wish with all my might that there was a video crew to catch you and the cow elk! Sorry but that would be terrific!!!

Connie W said...

I'm impressed that you trusted your husband enough to ignore your instincts about the Elk and her baby. LOL!

And I'm glad he took you to the potty. Good Paul!

Bridge said...

The elk had a baby with it. I can't believe you walked between them. WOW.

P.S. I am glad you are alive.

Stacey Irwin said...

Rolling over here!!!... Seriously!
Why is it no matter where you camp and the last time you go pee, you ALWAYS have to pee in the middle of the night, and is it just me or do those bathrooms feel EXTRA far away?!

I can't believe you walked thru the elk either!!.. Isn't that campers rule #1 is NEVER ever get too close ( let alone in the middle of..) of a momma anything and a Baby anything... well, least ya didn't die, or get trampled or get eat'n.. maybe thanks to the neighbor camper food supply the bears were more apt to visit them and leave you alone... maybe they were mormon bears and refuse to eat wine soaked humans?!! maybe that's the trick? Loading up on wine maybe like unto bear repellent?! you should test my hypothesis!

Glad you had fun and lived to tell about it!